Ten things we learnt so far from Boko Haram Vs Nigeria

1. Nigerians do the talking while Boko Haram do the killing: If words and outcries after each attack were bullets, there will not be a single boko haram member still breathing today but sadly noises and outcries from the masses can’t hurt a fly without action from the government and so the killings still continue… Even the government has joined in ‘sharing’ the noisemaking and helpless cry (apology to first lady) 2. The Military has joined the police in the lying game. We are used to our policemen calling black white but not so used to our military playing the game called “lying by numbers”. From the numbers of the children kidnapped to the numbers of those rescued and even numbers of terrorist killed, the game of lies is being perfected gradually. Remember Shekau was once killed by the military before he rose up again? 3. State of emergency has got another meaning in the dictionary of Nigeria. It is the time Law abiding citizens are forced to stay at home and serve as a sitting duck for the lawless ones. Or how do you explain the situation whereby a state is under a state of emergency yet they are been murdered in large numbers. 4. The Presidency urgently needs a speech writer. The speech are always the same and they always sound the same way even the look of the president as he read them out is always the same. 5. The police are hero in their own way. Ever heard the slogan “everyone is a hero”? Same goes for our policemen. They might not have the weapon and morale to face the boko boys but when it comes to battling unarmed citizens, the police are hero. Don’t just stand, a round of applause for the bullies of the year. 6. Nigeria has got the most caring president in the whole wide world: Almost after the Nyanya bombing, our president was at kano dancing his heart out. If you think that was just a gaffe, our dearest president was away to Ibadan ‘birthdaying’ just after the kidnapping of more than two hundred students at Chibok. Does it sound like let the dead bury their dead? Can you imagine a United States president or any civilized president doing this? 7. Boko Haram has bitten more than it can chew: In few years time when the history of boko haram is been reviewed, one thing will dominate its timeline, it is when shekau and his boys decided to take the path of impatience dog; rather than wait for the ‘illusioned’ seventy two virgin, they decided to grab over two hundred young girls from their place of learning. Historians will recall that it was the ‘kidnap’ (not the whip) that broke the Nigerians timidity (not camel) and also woke up the international community (nee USA and Britain). Historians will also recall with aghast how Nigeria desperately covered up the sponsors of the group after eliminating majority of the haram boys. Sorry bro Shekau… Game is up… I mean almost up 8. Boko Haram is not our number one enemy they are not even number two. I know boko haram are the one throwing the bomb, they are the one pulling the trigger and they are the dreaded face we all hate to beheld (or is it fear?) but believe me they are not our number one enemy. Nigeria’s number one enemy are the people that come out in daytime to share ‘tears’ with us, criticize boko boys with us and in the night they are busy supplying both ammunition and intelligence to these agents of death. Without them the activities of Boko haram will greatly reduce and so also is their power. Our second enemy is the government that we surrender both our resources and protection to that is daily looking like a weakling… the armies that we surrender our civility to that is everyday acting more coward than our shadow. 9. The advent of beer parlour generals: Ever heard of beer parlour generals before? Don’t take it literarily like I did until a friend’s father (a retired general in the Nigeria army who has served almost in all the continent of the world with distinction before retiring a decade ago) gave me the definition. “A beer parlour general is a general who is more adept at drinking, looting or is it sharing of money, politicking, socializing and civilian maltreatment than at the arts of war.” He added “They used to be available then but they rarely get to the top because when they get to the top, they render the military blunt and obsolete” What do yah say? 10. A Nigerian’s majestic ride into Guinness book of record. Many theories have been propounded since advent of Boko haram , some are laughable while others are purely maniac but there is one that so much sound like the work of a genius. The theory goes thus; the people responsible for boko haram are the Christian Association of Nigeria. They created boko haram to reduce the population of the North and reduce the influence of Islam… blah blah. Now let us pretend we are on drug too (seriously I am sure our theorist is on something worse than cocaine), CAN recruited people to bomb its member churches, kill its members, convert its fellow Christian to islam by force, sing allau akbar before and during each operation… for crying loud why would someone use his brain like that? Anyway Guinness book of record has granted our man the record of the most FOOLISH theory in history